Couples and Money: Trust, Play and Staying Connected
Season 2 episode 3 of HomeEc
Money rarely causes conflict for couples because of the numbers alone. It creates tension because it touches safety, trust, fairness, curiosity and the question couples rarely say out loud, even when they feel it: “Am I alone in this?” Like sex, honest money talks with our partners ask for self-awareness, emotional risk, and a willingness to be imperfect together.
In this episode of HomeEc, Nick Ashburn and Moraya Seeger DeGeare sit down with Couples Therapist Renee Segal to explore why money conversations between partners can feel so charged, how couples therapists navigate money tension in the therapy room, and her own money story.
To utilize the podcast with your own insights start with the free 15 minute Calibrate Assessment
Key Terms
Attachment describes how we learn to seek safety, connection, and reassurance, especially when we’re stressed or uncertain. These patterns are shaped early in life and often show up in adult relationships, including how we respond to money, conflict, and support.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) An evidence based therapy approach that helps partners understand and reshape emotional and nervous system patterns underneath conflict. Used with couples, individuals, and families.
Pursuer and Withdrawer dynamics In EFT, pursuers tend to reach for connection under stress, while withdrawers tend to move away to regulate overwhelm. Neither is wrong. Both are protective strategies in an effort to maintain the health of the relationship.
About Our Guest
Renee Segal is a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified EFT therapist and supervisor, and founder of Evolve Therapy in Minnesota. Evolve therapy is accepting new couples at this time. Learn more at Evolvetherapymn.com and follow her on instagram & Linkedin. Renee brings a rare perspective shaped by lived experience on both sides of money, from her early career in accounting and financial services to clinical work with couples and running her EFT training clinic for therapists.
Explore More
Episode reflections are available at homeecpodcast.com & we have your customized journal & voice memo prompt for the week posted to help you go deeper into your relationship with money.
Learn about your own relationship with money and attachment at calibrateintelligence.com with our free personalized insights.
Follow us on socials:
Slide into our DMs or email questions directly to Moraya@personawealth.com
Important Notice
This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as financial, legal, or clinical advice, nor is it a substitute for working with a qualified financial professional or licensed therapist who understands your individual situation. Listening to this episode does not create a therapeutic or advisory relationship.
Marriage and Family Therapist Renee Segal, MA, LMFT Founder of Evolve Therapy in Minnesota.
Voice Memo Reflection Guide
Find your path. Use the prompt that matches your energy.
This episode invites you to notice how money shows up in your relationships, not to fix anything.
If you have taken the Calibrate assessment this will help you find your path. If not, choose the prompt that best matches how you tend to respond to money stress.
We recommend recording your response as a short voice memo. Two to three minutes is enough. No editing. No resolving. Just noticing.
Path: Grounding
If money stress leaves you feeling overwhelmed, avoidant, or emotionally flooded.
Voice memo prompt:
When money comes up, what do I feel in my body before I think anything?
What part of me is trying to protect me by avoiding, freezing, or shutting down?
What would help me feel just a little safer before talking about money with my partner?
If I didn’t have to solve anything today, what would I want my partner to understand about how money feels for me?
End with one sentence of permission, like:
“It makes sense that this feels hard.”
Path: Alignment
If you seek clarity, meaning, or understanding, but sometimes stay in your head.
Voice memo prompt:
What story do I tell myself about money when I’m stressed?
How does that story shape how I show up with my partner?
Where do I look for certainty when what I might need is reassurance or connection?
What money conversation have I been postponing because I want to get it right?
End with one small next step that prioritizes connection over certainty.
Path: Stability
If you respond to money stress by taking control, working harder, or carrying it alone.
Voice memo prompt:
When money feels uncertain, do I tighten control or increase effort?
What am I trying to protect by holding more responsibility?
Where might my partner experience me as capable but distant?
What kind of support would actually help me feel steadier right now?
End with one place you could allow more ease, even if nothing else changes.
For Couples
If you want to reflect together, record separately and share only what feels good…maybe a little brave.
When money feels stressful between us, what do I most want you to understand about me?
What helps me feel like we are on the same team?
What would make money conversations feel more collaborative and less charged?
A gentle reminder:
Patterns are not problems. They are information. You do not need to fix anything today.
If you want to find your path or explore these patterns further, take the assessment & reach out to our team for more 1:1 guidance & tools for you and your partners.
