Wallet Dysmorphia
Season 2 episode 4 of HomeEc: Why Money Feels Scarier Than It IS During Life Change
Episode Show Notes
You don’t need more advice thrown at you. You need someone who can stay with you.
When everything is changing, you don’t need another expert telling you what to do.
You need someone who can sit with you in the uncertainty and help you move forward without rushing, shaming, overwhelming, or taking over.
In this episode of Home Ec, hosts Nick Ashburn and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Moraya Seeger DeGeare sit down with Josh Dunlop, founder of Even Path, to explore what real financial support looks like during high-stakes life transitions like divorce, retirement, loss, and complex family change.
Josh explains why he prefers the word guidance over advice.
Advice creates a power dynamic.
Guidance is collaborative.
Advice can make you feel like you’re being evaluated.
Guidance feels like someone walking beside you when you’re activated, doubting yourself, or trying to make the “right” decision in a moment that doesn’t feel clear.
We talk about what clients often look like when they arrive: burned out, overwhelmed, and later to asking for help than they wish they had been. Not because they don’t care. Not because they aren’t capable. But because transitions stretch your internal resources.
For some, hesitation comes from self-doubt.
For others, from carrying the full future in their head alone.
For many, from feeling responsible for getting it exactly right.
Josh shares how avoidance compounds stress and how creating structure and executive support in high-pressure moments can lower anxiety and restore confidence. We also explore what people are really fighting for in divorce and major transitions: not just money, but balance, safety, dignity, and the need to feel whole again.
Josh introduces a concept he is developing called wallet dysmorphia, describing how trauma can distort someone’s perception of their financial reality even when the numbers are stable. Often, the person least able to assess the situation clearly is the one living inside the upheaval.
If you’ve ever thought:
“I should be able to handle this.”
“I just need to think about it more.”
“What if I make the wrong move?”
This episode is for you.
In This Episode
Guidance vs advice and why the difference matters in transition
What being “activated” looks like in divorce and major life change
Why structure lowers panic and helps restore confidence
How grief and identity loss shape financial positions
Wallet dysmorphia and the gap between feelings and facts
If You Are in Transition
Whether you are navigating:
Divorce
Retirement
Aging parents
Becoming a caregiver
Loss of a partner
Blended family shifts
A major identity change
Here are questions to gently ask yourself:
What am I most afraid of getting wrong right now?
Am I trying to carry this alone?
Where do I need clarity, and where do I need reassurance?
What decision feels heavy because it feels permanent?
If I did not have to prove anything, what would feel like enough?
Transitions are not just logistical. They are relational and psychological. Your nervous system is part of this equation.
About Josh and Even Path
Josh Dunlop is a financial advisor and the founder of Even Path, a fee-only practice with no commissions and no product sales. He is a CFP, CDFA, and a board member of the Financial Therapy Association. He is located in Colorado and works with clients all over the country for financial therapy and financial planning.
Josh is currently accepting new clients:
Individuals navigating divorce
Couples preparing for retirement
Families holding complex transitions and financial dynamics
Connect with Josh:
Linkedin & Even Path Website
Connect with the HomeEc team on socials:
Questions or reflections?
Email Moraya@personawealth.com
Are you in a life transition?
Explore what is happening with your unique psychology and decision making style and Take the Calibrate Assessment
After you take the FREE 15 Money Psychology Assessment, here are prompts based on your cluster that can help you move without getting stuck.
If You’re in Transition: Prompts by Cluster
Transitions amplify your regulation pattern.
Divorce. Aging parents. Retirement. Blended families. Loss. Identity shifts.
If you’ve taken the Calibrate assessment, here’s what helps you move without getting stuck.
You can see we don’t all need the same thing for safety, belonging, and to trust ourselves in big life transition chapters.
Cluster 0: Teal Aqua
When under pressure, your system conserves energy.
In transition, you may:
Feel frozen or shut down
Avoid decisions because everything feels like too much
Miss follow-through even when you care deeply
Ask yourself:
What is the smallest possible next step?
What can safely wait?
What would stabilization look like, not improvement?
Who can reduce the number of decisions I’m carrying?
What helps you:
Fewer choices
Predictable structure
Slower pacing
Relief before planning
You don’t need goals right now. You need restoration.
Cluster 1: Vibrant Orange-Red
You think carefully. You hesitate because you don’t want to get it wrong.
In transition, you may:
Second-guess yourself repeatedly
Seek reassurance before committing
Delay decisions even after understanding them
Ask yourself:
What do I already know that I’m dismissing?
If this decision were reversible, what would I choose?
What would 60% certainty look like?
Who can reflect my competence back to me?
What helps you:
Low-risk experiments
Explicit validation
Permission to not get it perfect
You don’t need more information. You need confidence scaffolding.
Cluster 2: Deep Green
You move best when things are concrete and defined.
In transition, you may:
Focus on logistics and avoid defining the big picture
Support others while deferring your own authorship
Feel uncomfortable being the primary decision-maker
Ask yourself:
What is the next tangible step?
What role am I playing here?
Is this actually my decision?
Where would it feel safe to fully own one lane?
What helps you:
Clear structure
Defined scope
Tangible next actions
Bounded responsibility
You don’t need more education. You need clarity of ownership.
Cluster 3: Crimson Red
You see the full future picture. You think in systems.
In transition, you may:
Carry the long-term weight alone
Feel pressure to get it morally and strategically right
Move forward while still feeling internally unsure
Ask yourself:
What am I holding that could be shared?
What would “good enough” look like?
Am I acting from clarity or internal pressure?
Who can help distribute this cognitive load?
What helps you:
Shared authorship
Slightly slower pacing
Clear division of values vs logistics
Explicit reassurance you don’t have to hold it all
You don’t need acceleration. You need shared weight.
Cluster 4: Deep Burgundy
You are capable. When overwhelmed, you disconnect emotionally.
In transition, you may:
Go through the motions
Feel flat or cynical
Say “it doesn’t really matter”
Ask yourself:
Why does this matter to me right now?
What feels misaligned?
Where have I emotionally checked out?
What would make this decision feel meaningful again?
What helps you:
Reconnection to values
Reflection before instruction
Agency instead of compliance
You don’t lack ability. You’re protecting meaning.
Cluster 5: Soft Periwinkle
The Balanced Optimizer
You are steady and well-regulated.
In transition, you may:
Feel calmer than others
Delay decisions because nothing feels urgent
Prefer stability over disruption
Ask yourself:
What opportunity might I be overlooking?
If this improved my life 10%, what would that look like?
What feels like an upgrade rather than a fix?
Where am I choosing comfort over expansion?
What helps you:
Opportunity framing
Optional experimentation
Clear upside
You don’t need pressure. You need meaningful upside.
Cluster 6: Royal Purple
You move fast to create safety.
In transition, you may:
Take on everything
Over-function
Struggle to rest or delegate
Feel anxious about getting it “right”
Ask yourself:
What am I holding that is not mine?
What would “good enough” look like?
What would happen if I slowed down 10%?
Where am I performing to feel safe?
What helps you:
Fewer decisions
Clear prioritization
Containment
Explicit permission to stop
You don’t need more drive. You need sustainability.
Cluster 7: Golden Orange
You move carefully and deliberately.
In transition, you may:
Slow decisions intentionally
Want more data
Resist shortcuts
Ask yourself:
Do I have enough data to decide?
Am I waiting for certainty or for clarity?
What would be an appropriately timed move?
Who can collaborate with me as a peer?
What helps you:
High-quality information
Respect for your pace
Collaborative dialogue
You don’t need urgency. You need rigor and partnership.
Cluster 8: Strong Blue
The Autonomous Integrator
You are internally aligned and decisive.
In transition, you may:
Act quickly
Outpace others
Get frustrated with inefficiency
Ask yourself:
Where could collaboration improve the outcome?
Am I moving so fast I’m bypassing reflection?
What would leverage look like here?
Where would amplification help?
What helps you:
Efficiency
Strategic edge
Minimal interference
Clear value-add
You don’t need activation. You need refinement and leverage.
Important Notice
This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not financial, legal, or clinical advice and does not replace working with a qualified financial professional or licensed therapist who understands your individual situation. Listening does not create a therapeutic or advisory relationship.
